


What She Needed

by Zei_Legato



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, haha i originally wanted it to be pure fluff, misakanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 23:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15852069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zei_Legato/pseuds/Zei_Legato
Summary: "I'm tired."





	What She Needed

**Author's Note:**

> Big mood at the summary tbh. Anyway I've wanted to get this fic done since the first time I started it like...2 months ago probably. Just a short one hhh please enjoy!

It was hot.

Misaki couldn’t really handle the heat.

When playing tennis, she would sweat all the same, but she could also feel the wind brushing against her skin as she dashed from one corner to the other—which made the increasing body heat more bearable. But in this suit, she didn’t only feel sluggish; she was suffocating and sometimes would even feel lightheaded from all the heat. Only her sheer determination and stamina could keep her standing and moving effortlessly.

She had to put _extra_ effort, however, when she knew Hagumi and Kokoro would randomly jump at her. She had to keep herself prepared every single time with the two girls around. First time it happened, she stumbled and fell to the ground. Getting up was _one hell of a problem_ with two bodies—two _giggling_ bodies—pressed against an already-heavy costume. It was a good thing that Kaoru wasn’t as hyper as the two or else she might’ve given up altogether and lied down on the ground unmoving at all.

But it was hot.

Misaki couldn’t feel the studio’s AC on her skin.

She’d been really tempted to take off Michelle’s head for a while now, but they were in the middle of band practice, and she knew damn well the idiot trio would run all over the place trying to find Michelle if she did take the head off. And it would make the practice last _so_ much longer because she just didn’t know where those children (yes, Kaoru _could_ be classified as a child at a time like that) would run off to.

And it was hot.

Misaki had been moving too slowly.

Her ears were starting to ring a little. It wasn’t because of the music—they’d been through so many practices and had played so much loud music that it would just be plain weird if her ears only began to act up now. It was the kind of ringing that would come with slight dizziness and unsteady breaths. She couldn’t hear sounds clearly—they were slightly muffled. Even Kokoro’s squeals and giggles were muffled _way_ too much for comfort.

Then she felt herself being dragged to the back of the studio where the unused instruments were kept.

A hand waved in front of her. She tried to reach out for it, but she couldn’t even move her arm freely—it budged a little, but her muscles weren’t listening. In fact, she didn’t feel like she had the strength to move at all. The costume suddenly became heavier and heavier with each breath she took.

And suddenly, the costume’s head was lifted up.

The brightness filling her vision so quickly was too much to take in at once and she flinched. Her eyes couldn’t really adjust well to the light immediately—she swore she was starting to see stars there. Her ears were starting to pick up sounds again, and the first thing she heard was a soft “are you okay?”

Misaki groaned as she felt the wall behind her and leaned back for it to act as a support. She took a deep breath and slowly slid herself down until she could sit comfortably on the floor. The moment she reached the floor, she could feel a towel pressed to her face gently, wiping sweat off her face.

“You’re so pale...” the familiar voice mumbled again, sounding _extremely_ concerned this time.

“K-Kanon-san...” Misaki managed to stutter.

“H-here, drink some water,” Kanon carefully pressed the mouth of a water bottle to her lower lip. She opened her mouth a little on cue, and felt Kanon tilting the bottle up slowly as water began to flow down her throat. She could feel her consciousness coming back little by little. The back of her throat made a small noise and Kanon took it as a sign that Misaki had enough water, lowering the bottle and putting it away.

Kanon took care of the costume—she knew where the zipper was, thanks to trying it on that one time and unfortunately failing to even move a little. She unzipped it and pulled the costume down enough that Misaki could properly breathe, because she could see how the younger girl was struggling to do so. She watched with worried eyes as Misaki leaned her head back to the wall and inhaled deeply. The air was held in for a few seconds before it was let out with a hoarse “Thank you.”

With a silent nod, Kanon instinctively moved her hand to wipe the sweat off Misaki’s neck and arms with the towel and Misaki craned her neck to the side so Kanon could properly wipe her uncomfortably sweaty neck. Kanon then put the towel and the water bottle next to Misaki’s hand and sat by the girl’s side while maintaining a small distance to give her a comfortable space. Misaki weakly moved her hand up, flexing her fingers in front of her. She grimaced when she felt how _weak_ her muscles were, unable to keep her arm outstretched even for a short moment. It seemed like her exhaustion had taken a terrible toll on her that her body had started to go against her command. It wanted to shut down.

It wanted to shut down, but Misaki had important things to do. They still had two more hours of practice out of three, with the break supposed to be in thirty minutes from now, but she was already sitting down there and she could barely move her body. It usually listened to her commands... by force. She never knew it was capable of forcing her to stop too, just like how she made it move. Her eyes drifted off to watch Michelle’s head on the floor, smiling without a care in the world. It was watching her, waiting for her to put it back on—to put the smile back on to her face.

But she _couldn’t_.

She couldn’t and she was beyond frustrated. The frustration that had built itself inside her heart had now shot up to the back of her eyes, stinging them badly that she could feel her cheeks starting to get wet. Bringing her hand up, she quickly swiped them off, but more had started to flow and now her chest began to hurt, too. She choked on her breath, unable to even stop herself from letting the tears she never knew she’d been holding back to finally leak out. All self-control had been lost, and she was reduced into a sobbing mess. It made her feel so disoriented, because she never felt so weak and so vulnerable when everyone else still needed her so much. She felt powerless and it was devastating. It was so _unbearable_ that each beat of her heart was starting to become painful.

The abrupt gentle touch of a hand brushing through her hair took her by surprise, though not an unpleasant one. It moved in a steady rhythm, soothing the stinging pain behind her eyes. She didn’t dare to look up to the owner of the hand. If she looked up, she knew she would give in the moment she found those soft violet eyes and she would cling to the older girl for dear life, seeking for more comfort.

“It’s okay,” Kanon’s voice reached her ears, “Let it all out.”

And yet that was all it took to make Misaki look up, seeing the exact sight she had been avoiding the entire time. Misaki swallowed a lump in her throat, and with a shaky intake of breath, she voiced out the first thing she could think of: “I’m tired.”

Kanon nodded slowly, placing her hand on Misaki’s cheek as her thumb softly grazed it to wipe a teardrop, “I know.”

”My body won’t listen to me,” Misaki continued, leaning against Kanon’s touch.

“I know,” Kanon whispered.

“I...” Misaki choked back, thoughts swirling into a blur as more tears flowed down her eyes. She couldn’t speak anymore. Her voice wouldn’t let her.

She then felt Kanon’s free hand caressing the back of her head, gently nudging it forward as the blue-haired girl moved closer. Misaki’s nose caught a whiff of a sweet scent, and then in a split second, it was all she could smell. All she knew were that she had her face buried into Kanon’s shoulder and her hands had moved up Kanon’s back to pull the older girl closer. It was warm. It felt like she belonged there for this moment. The way Kanon was running her hand down her hair, the way Kanon’s other hand delicately rested on her back, the way Kanon’s slow breathing guided her own breathing to grow steadier... she felt like she was _safe_. She felt her exhaustion slowly seep out of her entire being because of the simple gestures—simple, but for her it meant the world. Because she never knew she wanted this.

“You’ve been doing your best,” Kanon began to speak, “And I know. I see you.”

Misaki sniffled, managing a little nod as she buried her face into Kanon’s neck. She wanted to hear more. She just wanted to listen to Kanon’s voice right now. She _needed_ it.

“You’re really strong, Misaki-chan,” Misaki could hear the little smile in Kanon’s voice—she loved that smile and as much as she wished she could look at it right now, the need to hear Kanon out overrode that feeling, “You take good care of everyone, and they all rely on you. I think that’s amazing.”

A hoarse hum was all Misaki could muster, signalling that she was still listening.

“You love the band. You put so much effort into everything you do for the band’s sake,” Kanon whispered, voice wavering a little, “And we love you, too. We care about you, so please...”

Misaki gripped the fabric of Kanon’s shirt tighter.

“...Please love yourself some more, just like how you love us.”

Misaki didn’t know when her tears had stopped, or when her breathing had grown so steady and calm. What she knew was that she felt so much at home, right there, right at that moment. Silence engulfed the two of them, giving them as much time as they needed to enjoy each other’s company, to hold each other so close for at least a split second longer.

Once she felt strong enough to pull herself together, Misaki slowly pulled back from the embrace (kind of against her will, because she’d wished to simply stay there). Kanon seemed to be just as unwilling, but she let Misaki go anyway and carefully watched as the younger girl began to wipe whatever trail of tears left on her cheeks. Her hands had never completely let go of Misaki though, keeping them on her upper arms to reassure Misaki that she was there and ready to catch her again. Always.

“I’ll... I’ll try,” Misaki finally answered. Her throat felt dry. Too dry. Then she remembered the bottle Kanon placed near her and picked it up, pouring all of its contents down her throat. She wiped her lips and brought her hand in front of her face once more, flexing her stiff fingers again. The limbs were no longer trembling out of her control. She would still need to get a lot of rest later, but for the time being her body was following her command and it felt so, _so_ good and relieving. She looked up at Kanon, finding the worry still evident in her eyes, “Um... thank you... and I’m sorry.”

“... Don’t apologize,” Kanon slid her hand up to hold Misaki’s, entwining their fingers as she slowly guided it down and brushed the back of Misaki’s hand with her thumb, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But you had to see me at my worst,” Misaki said, eyebrows furrowing, “It was... unsightly.”

Kanon shook her head, bringing her other hand up to Misaki’s face and letting the back of her fingers stroke the girl’s damp cheek—her facial features seemed so tense. She knew Misaki hadn’t forgiven herself, and so she replied softly, “Thank you for trusting me to see you in such a state, then.”

All Misaki could think of was how to apologize again, but she knew that Kanon would keep telling her not to do that. She tried to look for the answer in the pool of violet staring at her as if she could disappear anytime soon. And right at that very moment, it clicked in her head. Kanon was just as afraid as she was, keeping her eyes on Misaki to make sure that she wasn’t crumbling down anymore—to make sure that she was finally _okay_. She stayed there, stayed strong to be the one Misaki could hold onto. It all came crashing down on her and she steeled her resolve now that her mind had gotten clearer. One side of her lips tugged up to form a lopsided smile as she muttered, “... And thank you for staying with me through all that.”

“I’ll always be here if you need me,” Kanon smiled as she cupped Misaki’s cheek, “Don’t hesitate to rely on me, okay? I’ll help you.”

Misaki nodded again, her smile growing slightly wider, “Okay.”

What Misaki didn’t see coming was the soft kiss that landed on her forehead. It happened so fast and yet the feeling lingered when Kanon pulled away. Her mouth opened and closed in an attempt to say something, but all of her words seemed to fall off the tip of her tongue. Kanon, on the other hand, seemed to try her best in setting her gaze on everything in the room—everything but Misaki. The redness on her cheeks was unmistakable and seeing how the older girl acted made her own cheeks grow warm too. A little bit _too_ warm.

“G-good luck charm...” Kanon stuttered, “W-we still have the band practice.”

“R-right, right,” Misaki scratched the back of her head. It was her turn to be unsure about where to look—though she did find their entwined fingers interesting. She never really noticed how firm Kanon’s grip actually was, but now that she did, it felt so secure. Secure and warm. Just like Kanon’s entire existence. Just like what made her feel the butterflies in her stomach every time.

What was Kanon to her, anyway?

And what was she to Kanon?

If she didn’t know better, she’d leave the questions to wander in her head, but what mattered now was the one in front of her; the one who stayed with her—the one who noticed her struggles to begin with. She gained all of her courage to look at Kanon again, who still seemed a bit apprehensive (but her thumb was still stroking the back of Misaki’s palm—it felt really comforting, and perhaps it had the same effect on her too). The sight was adorable, Misaki thought. And honestly? She was glad she could have this all to herself. She was glad that Kanon was here with her.

“Say...” Misaki broke the silence, in hopes of bringing Kanon’s attention back to her (actually, did it even leave her to begin with?), “... I haven’t heard those three making a mess. I was kinda thinking they’d be running off to find Michelle.”

“Oh, that...” Kanon trailed off, chuckling sheepishly, “... I asked them for an early break. I was calling out to you but you didn’t respond... so I guessed something was up. Then I told them Michelle might... be hungry... and I had to... get some fish...”

“... Fish,” Misaki repeated.

“B-bears eat fishes, right?” Kanon questioned, “They said they wanted to help, but I told them that Michelle liked to eat by herself and that I happened to know a good place to get her favorite fish... then they agreed and told me to take care of Michelle...”

“... No wonder, then,” Misaki sighed out loud.

“I-I mean, I panicked,” Kanon whispered hurriedly, “S-so I just said whatever came to mind...”

“Well, you saved me,” Misaki chuckled at Kanon’s justifying statement, “Getting them to understand that Michelle isn’t an actual bear can wait.”

Kanon nodded, smiling a little now. The smile Misaki really loved. She was glad that she’d broken the awkward silence, because that little smile felt so much like a prize for successfully bringing back the comfortable atmosphere between them.

“... Um, hey, Kanon-san?” Misaki said quietly.

“Yes?” Kanon’s eyes finally found hers this time and all her attention was on Misaki.

“Please watch over me,” Misaki requested, putting all of her feelings into those words, “I’ll keep doing my best.”

“Okay,” Kanon immediately answered, not even hesitating in the slightest with the determination evident in her voice. Her expression softened as she continued her words, “But don’t force yourself, alright?”

Misaki nodded—it became a silent promise between them. Kanon would be there for her, and Misaki would certainly do the same. She then brought the hand that was still holding Kanon’s up to her face and planted a kiss to the back of the hand. Her eyes were closed and all she could feel was a flinch, but the girl wasn’t pulling away and she took it as a permission to keep the kiss for a little longer.

Maybe she was out of her mind.

Lack of sleep could do weird things to her and maybe this was one of those things.

“Good luck charm,” Misaki whispered, breath tickling the back of Kanon’s hand.

“G-good luck charm,” Kanon repeated with a shaky voice.

Misaki knew all too well that if she were to open her eyes, Kanon wouldn’t even be able to look at her in the face again. They both knew neither of them was brave enough to look at each other when they were embarrassed. They both knew they wouldn’t be able to change this situation of theirs for a while.

But one day they definitely could. Definitely.

Misaki nodded and let go of Kanon’s hand (she missed the warmth already, but they had important matters to attend to). She began to fumble with her costume to put it back on again, seeing Kanon pick up Michelle’s head from her peripheral vision. The weight of the costume wasn’t as suffocating as it was before to her, and she was more than glad.

And she was trying really hard to ignore the warmth of her cheeks and the thundering beats of her heart.

“H-here,” Kanon stared down at the floor as she handed Misaki the costume’s head.

“Th-thanks,” Great, now Misaki was stumbling on her words too.

She retrieved the pink bear’s smiling head and put it over her head, feeling a bit safe now that Kanon couldn’t see the embarrassing expression on her face. She watched as Kanon took a deep breath and picked up the towel she’d almost forgotten was there, seemingly trying to keep herself occupied. Misaki followed her every movements, wanting to watch the older girl at all times now.

“Let’s go back,” Kanon smiled at Misaki—Misaki having the costume on probably helped Kanon deal with her nervousness from earlier too, “Those three must be waiting for us.”

Misaki nodded—the costume made her nod deeper than she needed to without it, but it felt lighter than before so it wasn’t a problem for her. She watched as Kanon turned around, and then swiftly moved her hand up to get a hold of Kanon’s sleeve. A little habit of hers. Kanon stopped in her tracks to look up at Misaki. The questioning look in her face almost made Misaki pull her hand away and she was already cursing herself in her mind, but the moment Kanon’s lips broke into a smile and a giggle escaped her lips, Misaki knew it was alright.

“It’s okay.”

And that was all she needed to hold on.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
